I am worried and very stressed. Not quite pms yet although I SO wish that it is pms time. I just have around 10 days left before my holy-day and now so more than ever I need my cycle to not be unpredictably un-cyclical.

I have been told to try the following to "induce" the timing:

last and not the very least (which I think is the funniest suggestion)

4. Jump up and down... (I cannot see how this would work. I will need to put on that "Jump Around" song non-stop at the house to do this... and risking further injury to my old age knees)

I have my own better theory on what I should do.

I should sleep with a woman having her menses. Eeeww! Disgusting!!Controversial!! Kinky...... not to mention very sinful indeed...

I don't actually mean sleep, SLEEP. I just need to be spend lots of time and be in close proximity with another woman. Theoretically women tend to synchronise their time of the month when they are together a lot. Apparently.

I shall now be on the hunt for women in their cycle. My mission for the next few days. I wonder if it would work much better (thousand times better) with woman who had just delivered?? Surely hormones are airborne and flying all over the place?? Hmmm...

An untested theory. Perhaps i should try. Watch out you ladies. I'm gonna getcha good!! GRRR!